


On the days the dark shines brighter than the sun

by vividaway



Category: Thomas Sanders
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied Anxiety, M/M, Screaming, Sensory Overload, Yelling, glass breaking, implied anxiety attacks, shouting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 00:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14581467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vividaway/pseuds/vividaway
Summary: The day had started like any other.Patton cooking breakfast, nagging Virgil to not wear his headphones at the table, Roman singing along and joking around with the other.But Logan was feeling. Feeling what seemed like everything and anything. The emotion throughout as he saw the others, with no where to go.He wiggled his crossed pant leg, staring at the table whilst attempting to focus any direct feelings and hold them off, waiting just a little bit longer until after breakfast.But it was warm. No, not warm, it was hot, and Logan felt like he was suffocating under the thick coating of uncomfortability and claustrophobia despite the fact that he wasn't being confined.It felt like he was being held underwater, the weight trapping in on him, closing in until he couldn't breath again.





	On the days the dark shines brighter than the sun

The day had started like any other.

Patton cooking breakfast, nagging Virgil to not wear his headphones at the table, Roman singing along and joking around with the other.

But Logan was feeling. Feeling what seemed like everything and anything. The emotion throughout as he saw the others, with no where to go.

He wiggled his crossed pant leg, staring at the table whilst attempting to focus any direct feelings and hold them off, waiting just a little bit longer until after breakfast.

But it was warm. No, not warm, it was hot, and Logan felt like he was suffocating under the thick coating of uncomfortability and claustrophobia despite the fact that he wasn't being confined.

It felt like he was being held underwater, the weight trapping in on him, closing in until he couldn't breath again.

"Logan?" a voice called out.

Snapping his head up, he met eye to eye with Patton, who was giving him a small smile

"I didn't hear what you said, my apologies" he replied nervously

"I had asked how many pancakes you would like." Patton shifted how he was standing, awaiting the brown haired boy's response.

Logan wasn't really that hungry, but he could feel everyone's eyes burning through him, digging and clawing their way to his true feeling. The very culmination of his being that he had been trying to ignore.

Was this how Virgil feels?

"I-I uh.." he cocked his head to the left. "J-just one, thank you." he finally spat out.

"You okay, Lo?" Patton asks "you seem a little-"

"—I'm fine."

The silence came back twice as hard after Patton had finished everyone's pancake requests.

Everyone had known that something was up with him, and they were sure to ask him..weren't they?

He worried his lip. He had never been more uncomfortable in his entire life, which is saying quite a lot, considering who he lived with.

An eccentric, upbeat, and joyous father figure who sees the good in all, and wants the neat outcome for all of the sides.

He sports glasses that always managed to slip down his face, but he never seemed to mind.

A dramatic, outgoing, and hyper puppy-boy. He wore his tight-and-somehow-lose-at-the-same-time clothing that topped off his more floofed than usual hair.

You could never catch him at a dull moment, because he was always going. Wether it was singing a disney-musical combination, or dancing his way across the apartment, finding his way to keep everyone's attention.

The emotionally charged, and dark seeming boy who wore the hoodie. The large headphones and the black painted nails. The freckle band across his nose being hidden by his make up.

Anxious about everything and still borderline reckless, wreaking havoc wherever he goes; lightening everyone's mood.

There were an endless amount of possibilities with them.

Logan could feel his neck crawling, creeping as if he were waiting for something to happen

his stare at the table intensified as if he hadn't wanted to look at anything else again, just waiting for this excruciatingly long breakfast to finally be over.

His gaze at the table was broke with a hand on his shoulder and a plate in front of him, and a beaming face to his left.

"Thank you, Pat." he bit out, in almost a whisper. He looked him in the eyes, attempting to reassure him of his lie — that he was indeed fine. Fine for now, that is.

He stared at the pancakes in front of him, cutting them in half. He felt  
wrong. Like he wasn't in his place.

He was lost in a sea without a way out and he felt like screaming and crying and punch a wall.

He wanted to break something, anything. But he was stuck at this breakfast table, with the compact smalltalk that felt like nails on a chalkboard to him.

The longer he sat, the more angry he became about anything. The sound of the forks on plates, the sound of small fits of giggles, even the sound of breathing was getting on his nerves.

He had zoned the world out at this point, and didn't notice the group of boys all now staring at him.

He looked up. "You'll uh...have to excuse me. I do not feel well." he said before he quickly rushed out of his seat and up the stairs.

Once he was behind the closed door of his room, he sat on his bed; tapping his foot.

There wasn't a reason for him to be feeling this way. No cause, no issues, nothing.

But yet he still felt like screaming until he psychically couldn't anymore, and crying until he was all cried out. And yet he was still sat on the bed, hands gripping the bed sheets until his knuckles turned white.

Tears peaked his eyes as he stood up, untying his tie. Too tight, he thought. It's suffocating me, he thought. It's going to kill me, he thought.

Dense and unjustified thoughts. There was no logical reason he should be thinking these. He needed to calm down.

He threw the tie onto the laundry hamper, biting his lip and leaning against the door frame to the bathroom

he let out a breath of air he hadn’t known he was holding in. he walked into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror

the lights blinded him, making his head pulse and pound.

"It's not fair" he whispered to himself, his voice coated with a sheer anger and echoing throughout the room.

The tears begun to spill over

"It's not fair!" he said again, but significantly louder

he shoved everything off of the bathroom counter, including a glass holder that shattered as it hit the floor, spraying glass everywhere.

He ran his hands through his hair and squatted down to the floor, covering his tear filled face.

It wasn't fair. Nothing about today was fair.

He looked around the room, and everywhere he looked, there was failure. Failure in himself.

He pushed his glasses off of his face, and wiped his eyes with his shirt, and Logan felt as if he were hyperventilating.

There was a slight knock at the bedroom door, before a humble Patton  
had let himself in.

"Kiddo?" he called out, almost as if it were to make sure he was even here. He walked over to the large bathroom doorway, covering his mouth at the sight.

There was a slight silence before patton spoke again. "you shouldn't have lied to me. you should've said something, Lo"

he shook his head. "It wasn't a lie. I don't feel well."

Patton let out a small sigh, and held his hand out, trying to help Logan escape his glass shard imprisionment.

Logan took the help, stepping over the glass as to not cut himself, and into the bedroom again.

Patton took in the sight of the disheveled man before him, hair a mess, clothes unkempt, and eyes red from crying.

Patton pulled Logan into a hug, lending a shoulder to cry on.

"I-it's not f-fair, Pat" he choked out, sobbing. "I know, Lo. it's alright. i've got you, now. i've got you."

"why do I-I feel l-like this?" he said, almost inaudible.

"Because, bud, some days are just.. bad days. It can't always be perfect. There's gotta be some dark to balance out the light."

Patton wiped the tears under Logan's eyes with his thumbs, and gave him a small sad smile.

More tears replaced the last quickly, feeling hot on his face, his cheeks red.

"You really need to calm down, you're running a fever" Patton said out, feeling Logan's cheeks, and then head.

what he had said had somehow managed to make Logan feel even worse.

it was mainly the fact that he couldn't stop, couldn't calm himself down.

"Breath, Lo"

Patton had suggested him breathing with him. Eventually Logan and Patton had made their way to the floor, sitting against the bed.

Logan was breathing in and out, routinely, something Patton had learned a balance of, between helping Virgil and in self experiences.

"My head hurts" was all Logan could manage out once he was able to talk again.His throat was sore and scratchy from the shouting, and the crying.

"Yeah, I know, kiddo. It's okay" he replied, rubbing circles on his back.

"I-I really d-didn't mean to break t-the glass.." Logan whispered, his voice hitching

"That's alright, we can clean it up!" Patton optimistically replied.

"But it's not.." was all logan could reply. It wasn't okay. What he had done was most definitely not okay. He could've hurt himself, or others if they were around. It was stupid to do, and he should have known better.

"Logan, you aren't perfect. You have emotions, too. And that's alright! It just means you're even more special than any one else! There isn't one person who can feel exactly what you feel"

Patton's pep talk made Logan smile a small bit "You got that from me." he spoke

"Yeah, smart minds come to those in need." he said, leaning his head against Logan's.

"Now. how about we clean up this glass?"

**Author's Note:**

> Eeek, this is my first attempt at a hurt/comfort?? ive literally never done this before? dont @ me.


End file.
